


High Hopes

by tonysleatherjacket



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-28 22:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10840863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonysleatherjacket/pseuds/tonysleatherjacket
Summary: Hannah always cared deeply about Jessica, even when they were no longer friends. She can only hope they can patch back their friendship; maybe even create something more.





	High Hopes

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter or two will be about Hannah realizing her attraction to girls, then it'll get more into the Hannah/Jessica storyline

Hannah laid in bed that night; finally able to turn the light off, seeing as how she knew Tyler wouldn't be coming back to her window any longer now that she knew it was him who had been stalking her. And to be honest, she should have known it was him. He never went anywhere without his camera, and she'd noticed him numerous times before in the halls at school, just standing off to the side...watching her. It made her sick. _He_ made her sick. She should feel relaxed now, though. It was over. But she doesn't.

Hannah touches her lips in the darkness, which still feel like they're buzzing after her heated kiss with Courtney.  _I kissed a girl,_ she thought,  _and I liked it_. But this was definitely _not_ a Katy Perry song. She thought about how soft Courtney's lips had been, much softer than a boy's. She had tasted a lot like alcohol, and a little like something sweet; chapstick or lipgloss maybe. Her heart must have been beating a mile a minute the whole time. She thought Courtney had been kidding at first, when she dared Hannah to kiss her. Courtney daring her to take her bra off under her shirt, that was just a dumb, playful dare. And Hannah had dared her to take her shirt off without hesitation after taking her own bra off; feeling bold and giggling far too much from the hard liquor. And Courtney had done it; looking so hot and teasing, making Hannah flush. It was just two girls playing around. But then Courtney had dared her to kiss her. They'd tried to laugh it off at first, but they both had felt something. So, they leaned into one another again and pressed their lips together in a messier, more intense kiss. Hannah had felt a warm sensation from deep within her belly; all nerves and giddy excitement. She wanted the kiss to keep going on. She let Courtney take the lead; cupping the back of her head lightly and pushing her down on the bed, deepening the kiss. All Hannah could focus on was the pounding of her stupid heart as she tried to suppress a moan. She was worried Courtney would pull back suddenly and laugh cruelly, saying  _I knew you were into girls, you sick freak!_ But she hadn't, only kissed her harder, and then began to lap at her neck. That was when Hannah had heard the all too familiar clicking of a camera. 

She wished the moment hadn't ended. That Tyler hadn't been there, hadn't caught them together and taken those pictures. Maybe she just should've ignored him. Kept kissing Courtney, because god knew she wanted to. But with each passing second, the clicking got louder somehow; the only thing she could hear, and she just felt so...sick. Wrong. How could Tyler do that to her? How could he do that to _anyone?_ What kind of person just watches someone, takes pictures of them? Tyler didn't even _know_ her. 

And she just felt angry; so angry. She was angry at Tyler, and every other boy in the world like him. But for the rest of that night, she tried to block him out of her thoughts, thinking about Courtney again and how much she wished she could a kiss a girl again. She wished Courtney hadn't ran off like she had. She had tried to call after her; but she'd only looked back for a second, before running down the street and away from Hannah like she couldn't wait to get away from her.

 

-

 

Hannah woke up that morning, still feeling sick to her stomach. She got to school early that morning, waiting for Courtney to arrive. She'd been standing there for about ten minutes before she saw one of Courtney's dads pull up, and Courtney got out. Hannah rushed up to her, wanting to maybe talk about the kiss. Because it wasn't just her that had felt something inside of herself; like a part of herself that she'd tried to hide for a long time had suddenly come out, was it? Courtney had to have felt it too. But the conversation hadn't gone well at all. Courtney had just acted as if nothing had happened between them, making Hannah's heart break a little. She needed to get those pictures from Tyler. 

So after Courtney walked away from her, she went inside the school building. She walked into the darkroom, squinting through the dim red light. 

"Tyler?"

He looked up, smiling slightly at the sight of her, but then he probably thought about how she had caught him outside her window the night before, and his expression soured.

"Hi, Hannah."

"Please." She begged. "Give me the pictures you took of me back. And I won't tell anyone." She tried to keep her voice even and reasonable, knowing it wouldn't help if she came across as furious as she really was. 

Tyler frowned, "Hannah, I-"

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say. Just...give me the pictures."

He looked like he wanted to finish whatever it was he was about to say, but thought better of it. He reached inside his bag, and pulled out a small memory card, holding it out to her. She looked at Tyler's face; the way he just looked back at her with a blank expression. Was he even sorry for what he had done? Did he care about how she felt at all? She wanted him to know what it had felt like, what it felt like to feel unsafe and like someone was watching you. To feel so violated, robbed of your privacy. She doubted he would ever feel like that. 

"This is all of them?"

He nodded. She took the memory card, and started walking away.

"Hey, Hannah,"

She turned back, hand on the doorknob. If he was going to try to apologize, he was wasting his time. Nothing he could say would ever make what he had done okay. 

"Would you ever wanna...hang out?"

Hannah was stunned, torn between whether she should laugh or cry. "You wanna hang out with me?"

"Yeah."

The nerve of him. Why would he think she would  _ever_ want to hang out with him?

So she just laughed in a way that probably showed how close to tears she was, and stormed out of that damn darkroom, knowing she would never step foot in it again.

And maybe she should have taken him up on his offer, because maybe then he wouldn't have sent that picture out. And really, she should have known that Tyler probably had at least one, if not countless more, copies of every picture he had ever taken of her. And when Courtney had come up to her later that day, tears streaming down her face, her heart began to break even more.


End file.
